Posts Tagged ‘Genocide’

“How Many Times Will I Have to Die?” by Ronald Chatman

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

6-17-03

MY FATHER (NEW YORK) WAS THE COLDEST PIMP THAT I HAVE EVER
KNOWN. HE GOT DOWN WITH THE GAME FOR DECADES. THE WHOLE
WHILE THAT HE WAS HUSTLIN’ HE STAYED TRUE TO THE GAME. HE
OBEYED EVERY RULE. HE DIDN’T DO THE DRUG SCENE LIKE MOST OF
THE WASHED UP PIMPS DID. HE ALWAYS WARNED ME AND MY
BROTHERS ABOUT USING DRUGS. NOW HE IS IN HIS 60′S AND HE HAS
RETIRED HIS LIFE OF PIMPISM. HIS GAME WILL ALWAYS LIVE ON. WE
NOW LIVE IN TIMES WHEN THE GAME IS EXPLOITED BY THOSE THAT
WERE BORN TOO LATE TO PARTICIPATE OR THOSE THAT WERE TOO
SQUARE TO GET DOWN. THIS IS ANOTHER FACET OF MY LIFE. I AM NOT A
PIMP MYSELF, BUT I WAS SEASONED BY SOME OF L.A.’S BEST. MY ROLE
MODELS WERE NOT DOCTORS AND LAWYERS, WHEN I WAS GROWING
UP. THERE WERE PIMPS AND HUSTLERS IN MY NEIGHBOR HOOD. THERE
WERE NO JOBS SO EVERYONE ADMIRED A MAN THAT KNEW HOW TO
TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. DOCTORS, LAWYERS AND ALL OF THE
MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURES THAT WE SHOULD ADMIRE DON’T LIVE IN THE
HOOD THAT I GREW UP
MY ROLE MODELS WERE THE ESCAPING WHERE THEY CAME FROM AND
DENYING ALL KNOWLEDGE OF EVER LIVING IN THAT GANG INFESTED,
COMMUNITY OF DRUGS AND VIOLENCE. I WAS NEVER TURNED OUT; I
WAS BORN TO THE GAME. THE GAME HAS BEEN A PART OF ME, AS LONG
AS I HAVE BEEN A PART OF IT. I TOLD MY 13 YEAR OLD SON RONALD2
THAT, IF HE EVER JOINED A GANG, I WILL KILL HIM MYSELF. I TOLD HIM,
“I AM THE ONE THAT GAVE YOU YOUR LIFE AND I WILL BE THE ONE TO
TAKE YOUR LIFE.” I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS SENDING HIM TO JOBCOR
WHEN HE TURNS 16. HE THINKS THAT I AM BEING MEAN BUT IN THE
FUTURE HE WILL REALIZE THAT I HAD A PRECONCEIVED PLAN TO SAVE
HIS LIFE. HE DOES NOT REALIZE THAT I HAVE NEVER BEEN ANYWHERE
OR DONE ANYTHING. HE HIMSELF HAS THE OPPURTUNITY TO DO
ANYTHING AND GO ANYWHERE. MAYBE HE WILL APPRECIATE ME WHEN
HE FINDS OUT HOW HARD MY LIFE WAS. THE HOOD IS A MOBILIZING
ZONE OF MILITARIZATION. THINGS ARE CONSTANTLY CHANGING
AROUND US. THE LAST TIME THAT I CHECKED, IT WAS STILL RAINING
BULLETS. THE BIRD OVER HEAD IS FOLLOWING ME CLOSELY AS I RUN
FROM YARD TO YARD, IN THE COLD NIGHT AIR. THE MORE I SWEAT, THE
CLOSER THEY GET. FROM THE SKY MY BODY HEAT EXPOSES ME TO THE
HEAT SEEKING, TRACKING DEVICES THAT ARE BEING PUT TO USE BY THE
EYE IN THE SKY. BLACK AND WHITE CARS SCREAM THROUGH THE
STREET TRYING TO LAY BACK JUST ENOUGH SO THAT YOU CAN’T HEAR
THEM COMING. I WILL REMAIN AMONG THE SHADOWS AND TREES, I
HEAR A SOUND. I TURN AND AN L.A.P.D. K-9 POLICE DOG JUMPED INTO
MY FACE OUT OF THE DARKNESS.

THE WORLD IS CLOSING IN ON ME. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR ME TO
MOVE. MY ACTIVITIES ARE CLOSELY MONITORED. I AM EITHER LOOKING
UP AT THE WALL OR THROUGH THE FENCE. I HAVE LIFTED ALL OF THE
WEIGHTS THAT I COULD LIFT. I HAVE TALKED ON THE PHONE FOR AS
LONG AS I COULD TALK. I HAVE WRITTEN ALL OF MY LETTERS AND HAVE
NOW RETURNED FROM THE CHOWHALL. I EXERCISE MY BODY IN THE
MORNING. ARMS, CHEST, LEGS, ETC. TO BUILD THE MIND IS TO BUILD
THE BODY. TONIGHT I WILL GO TO THE LIBRARY. IF I AM LUCKY I WILL
BE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO FIND BOOKS LIKE “BLOOD IN MY EYE” BY
GEORGE JACKSON OR I WILL STUDY THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION
ALONG WITH ALL 27 AMENDMENTS. UPON MY PAROLE, I WISH TO BE
DUALLY ENDOWED, MIND AND BODY. I HAVE BENCHPRESSED 300
POUNDS. I HAVE BACK ARMED 200 POUNDS. I HAVE READ 312 BOOKS.
THAT IS THE WAY THAT YOU GET YOUR MIND OUT OF JAIL. “LEARN
SOMETHING WHILE YOU ARE IN THERE, THAT WILL KEEP YOU ON THE
STREET. THE ALLEYS OF MY HOOD HAVE 10 FOOT SECURITY FENCES AT
BOTH ENDS OF THEM. BY LOCKING UP ALL OF THE TRASH IN THE
ALLEYS AND KEEPING THE HOMELESS RECYCLERS OUT. IS THAT WHAT
MAKES OUR NEIGHBORHOOD SAFER FROM CRIME? THERE ARE
SECURITY GATES BEING PUT AROUND EVERY COMMUNITY
SURROUNDING THE WESTSIDE ROLLIN’ 20′S. IS THAT TO KEEP THE
RESIDENTS IN OR TO KEEP THE ROLLIN’ 20′S NEIGHBORHHOD BLOODS
OUT? I AM A NATIVE OF WEST ADAMS, THE HEART OF THE ROLLIN’ 20′S. I
WENT TO SCHOOL ON SUGAR HILL. I WENT TO JAIL ON ADAMS BLVD. I
HAVE HUSTLED ON THESE DANGEROUS STREETS. I HAVE FOUGHT FOR
MY NEIGHBORHOOD. IT WAS OUR RIGHT TO INHERIT NEIGHBORHOOD
FROM THE O/G’S. WE PUT THE “B” IN THE GAME AND PASSED IT DOWN
TO THE Y/G’S. WE MADE A CONTRIBUTION OF TWO FINGERS (FOR
TWENTIES) TO THE PINKY AND THUMB THAT WE ACKNOWLEDGE
EVERYONE WITH. WE TURNED THE OLD SCHOOL INTO THE NEW SCHOOL,
WE MADE Y/G’S FROM O/G’S. I WAS SCHOOLED BY BLOODS THAT WORE
LEATHER JACKETS, BRIMS, AND ROMEOS. SOME WORE STACEY ADAMS
OR BISCUITS. THAT WAS FIRST AND SECOND GENERATION SHIT. LET ME
CLARIFY MY STATUS AS AN O/G ROLLIN’ 20′S BLOOD. I AM 3RD
GENERATION NEIGHBORHOOD, FIRST GENERATION NEIGHBORHOOD
BLOOD.THAT MAKES THE “B” A PART OF ME. BLOOD FLOWS THROUGH
MY VEINS JUST THE SAME AS BLOOD FLOWS THROUGH THE WORLD.
FROM THE NATIVE BLOODS OF WASHINGTON STATE, TO THE GRIMEY
BLOODS OF THE EASTCOAST, LET MY BLOOD FLOW DEEP!! “WHAT IT
BLEED LIKE?

IF IT’S FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE FUTURE I DEMAND TO “B” THE FIRST
SACRIFICE. THE VALUE OF LIVING IS FAR MORE GREATER THAN THE
SACRIFICE OF ONE LIFE. TO LOVE LIFE, IS TO APPRECIATE AND RESPECT
EVERYDAY OF LIFE. THERE ARE SOON TO BE NO MORE MARTIN LUTHER
KINGS OR JAMES BALDWINS, BECAUSE WE ARE SACRIFICING THEM TO
THE GANG LIFE. WE ARE LOSING OUR MOST ARTICULATE INDIVIDUALS.
WHAT IS TO BECOME OF US AS A RACE? WE MUST NOW PROTECT AND
SHELTER OUR SONS. THEY ARE THE SEEDS OF OUR NEXT GENERATIONS
EXISTENCE AND PROLIFERATION. THEY ARE THE BEARERS OF OUR LAST
NAMES THAT ARE PASSED DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. I
DIED A THOUSAND TIMES AS A YOUNGSTER GROWING UP AMONG THE
MADDNESS OF L.A.’S BLOODS AND CRIPS. SO MANY BODIES HAVE
FALLEN THAT I HAVE NOW LOST TRACK OF THE BODY COUNT. I AM A
BLOOD, I DIED IN VIET NAM AND DID TIME IN THE HANOI HILTON. I AM
BLOOD, I EVOLVED FROM SOCIAL DISCONTENTMENT AND RESISTANCE.
IN THE PAST I WAS JUST BLACK, BUT NOW I AM RED. WHEN WE BOND IN
RESISTANCE, YOU CALL ME BLOOD. IN THE PAST IF I WAS BLOOD, I WAS
YOUR BROTHER. THE OLD PLAYERS DON’T KNOW MY NAME, SO THEY
PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO ME BY CALLING ME”YOUNGBLOOD.” I DIED IN
THE STREETS OF WEST ADAMS FOR REPRESENTING ROLLIN’ 20′S
NEIGHBORHOOD BLOODS, TO THE FULLEST. SEVEN DAYS LATER I WAS
BURIED, EXCUSE ME , I SAID THAT THIS WOULD NOT BE ANOTHER
MACHIAVELLIAN SMOKESCREEN (LAST VICTIM OF GANG VIOLENCE). MY
YOUNG HOMEBOY JUST PASSED AND I DIED AGAIN. IN THE FUTURE
THERE WILL BE A NEED TO GENETICALLY REPRODUCE SO THAT THE
BLACK WOMEN CAN PROLIFERATE OUR EXISTENCE. SELF DESTRUCTION
AND GENOCIDE ARE AMONG US.

WE ARE FIGHTING A LOSING FIGHT AND THERE ARE NO WINNERS. TO A
YOUTH LIVING IN LOS ANGELES, LIFE MAY NOT HAVE ANY VALUE. KIDS
WATCH THEIR CHILDHOOD FRIENDS DIE IN THE HOOD, FOR THE HOOD.
SO THIS MAKES THEM BELIEVE IT IS THEIR CALLING TO “B” FROM THE
HOOD. THERE ARE MASSES OF YOUNG PEOPLE THAT ARE LIVING TO
FIGHT FOR THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS. THEY KNOW THAT IN ORDER TO
STAY ALIVE IN L.A YOU HAVE GOT TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE. THE VALUE
OF CIVILIAN LIFE IN THE 20′S IS THAT, FOR EVERY ONE BLOOD THAT
DIES, TEN CIVILIANS WILLINGLY JOIN UP WITH THE BLOODS BY CHOICE. I
DIED ONCE IN A DRIVE-BY SHOOTING, ANOTHER TIME I WAS KILLED AS
AN INNOCENT BY-STANDER. I DIDN’T DIE WHEN THEY SHOT ME ON THE
CORNER OF RAYMOND AND ADAMS IN 1985.

I WAS KILLED EXECUTION-STYLE BY MY ENEMIES. THEY DUCT TAPED ME
TO A CHAIR AND SHOT ME IN THE HEAD TWICE. I WAS DRAGGED OUTSIDE
AND SHOT SIX TIMES IN THE HEART. I GOT KILLED BY A COWARD, THAT
SHOT ME ONCE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD. HE HAD TO BE A BUSTER, HE
COULDN’T LOOK INTO MY EYES BEFORE MAKING ME DEAD. I DIE EVERY
TIME A MOTHER CRIES FROM LOSING THEIR BABIES TO THIS CRAZY ASS
LIFESTYLE. I CRY EVERYTIME THE BLACK PLAGUE OF DEATH TAKES ONE
OF THE BABIES THAT WE CALL YOUNG HOMIES.

I DIED WITH BABY TIPPY ON THE FOURTH OF JULY AND I DIED WITH
ISEMAN ON FRIDAY THE 13TH LAST JUNE. I DIED IN A SHOOTNG ON
HALLOWEEN.

WE HAVE NOW MOURNED OUR “B”LOVED HOMIES ISEMAN AND J.B. WE
LOST ISEMAN TO THE STREETS, BUT GOD TOOK J.B. NOW I MOURN THE
LOSS OF BABY TIPPY, I WRITE ABOUT YOU AS I CRY ABOUT YOU. HE
WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE MY SON, BUT I LOOKED OUT FOR HIM LIKE
HE WAS MY LITTLE BROTHER. HE RODE BACK WITH ME, FROM THE
FUNERAL OF Y/G LIL DOG FROM BLACK-P-STONE (CONSCIOUS
REVOLUTION). WE ACTUALLY DISCUSSED RELIGION, LIFE, DEATH AND
GANGBANGIN’ WE DISCUSSED GANG INTERVENTION, HE FELT THAT
THERE WAS NO HOPE IN SIGHT. I ASKED ABOUT HIS LIFE AND HIS
FEELINGS, HE SAID,”YOU KNOW HOW THINGS ARE OUT HERE IT’S
FUCKED UP.” THAT IS A VERY POPULAR ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IN
L.A., ASK ANY YOUNGSTER. ALL GREAT MEN WERE BORN INTO THEIR
OWN PLACE IN TIME. WHAT WILL TIME BE WORTH, WHEN WE HAVE
MURDERED ALL OF THE GREATEST MEN AMONG US. I DON’T THINK OF
MYSELF AS GREAT, BUT I WAS BORN INTO A FUCKED UP PLACE IN TIME.

AM I HAUNTED OR AM I WANTED? I MUST ADDRESS THAT QUESTION TO
MY HIGHER POWER. L.A. IS PLAGUED WITH DEATH AND WE ARE OUR
OWN WORST ENEMIES. HOW MANY TIMES WILL I HAVE TO DIE? BEFORE
WE REALIZE, THAT, “TO KILL ONE BLACK MAN IS TO KILL AN ENTIRE
GENERATION OF BLACK.” PEOPLE. WILL I REALLY HAVE TO MAKE MY
POINT AND REALLY GO OUT AS THE LAST VICTIM OF GANG VIOLENCE?
OR AM I SENTENCED TO INFINITELY WONDER, HOW MANY TIMES WILL I
HAVE TO DIE? FORGIVE US FOR THE DAMAGE THAT WE HAVE CAUSED
FOR WE KNOW NOT WHAT IT IS THAT WE ARE DOING. “B” THE STREETS
MY CHURCH, MY RED FLAG “B” MY CROSS. CRUCIFY ME AND NAIL ME
TO THAT CROSS SO THAT THE SINS OF ALL GANG MEMBERS SHALL “B”
FORGIVEN (POWER OF WORDS).

THEY SNUCK INTO MY HOUSE AND KILLED ME IN MY SLEEP.THEY PUT A
PILLOW OVER MY HEAD AND PRESED THE BARRELL OF THEIR GUN INTO
IT TO MUFFLE THE SOUND OF THE SHOT. THEY THEN PULLED THE
TRIGGER AND BLEW MY BRAINS ALL OVER MY BED SHEETS. I AM O/G/B
MADD RONALD FROM WESTSIDE ROLLIN’ 20′S NEIGHBORHOOD BLOODS.
SINCE I AM A BLOOD, I AM ONE OF THE MOST HATED OF ALL. I HAVE
BEEN DYING FOR THE LAST 28 YEARS IN THE STREETS OF L.A. MY
BLOOD STILL STAINS THE SIDEWALKS OF ADAMS BLVD, AS A REMINDER
OF HOW MANY TIMES, I HAVE DIED. THEY JUMPED OUT OF THEIR VAN
BEARING AUTOMATIC WEAPONS. MY RED SHOE LACES SPOKE FOR
THEMSELVES. THEY SET MY CHEST ABLAZE WITH GUNFIRE. THEY HEARD
ME GASPING FOR MY FINAL BREATHS, WHILE BLOOD BUBBLED OUT OF
MY MOUTH. THEY GAVE A GUN TO THEIR YOUNG.

HOMEBOY AND TOLD HIM TO “FINISH THE JOB!!” BOOM!! BOOM!! THERE
WERE TWO SHOTS, BUT I WAS DEAD AFTER THE FIRST ONE. I HATED
CRIPS FOR 22 YEARS. NOW I CAN NO LONGER HATE ANYMORE. I HAVE
REALIZED THAT, ” THROUGH MY SELF HATRED I WAS BREEDING SELF
DESTRUCTION.” OUR ANCESTORS WERE LYNCHED, HUNG AND
DEHUMANIZED BECAUSE OF THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN. THESE DAYS
WE DEHUMANIZE ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE OF THE COLOR THAT WE
HAVE CHOSEN TO ROLL WITH.

AUGUST 2ND MAKES ME 36 YEARS OLD. I WILL HAVE BEEN A ROLLIN’
20′S BLOOD FOR 28 YEARS. I HAVE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO DROP
OUT. I HAVE SEEN MASSES OF PEOPLE DROP OUT. SOME LEFT THE
NEIGHBORHOOD AND STARTED FAMILIES, SOME GOT JOBS, SOME HAD
FOUND THEIR HIGHER POWER OR CONSCIOUSNESS. WHATEVER IT “B” IT
GOT THEM OUT. IF I AM FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO SURVIVE FOR 48 MORE
MONTHS, I WILL HAVE BEEN A BLOOD FOR 30 YEARS. I MIGHT TAKE A
CHANCE AND WALK OUT OF ALL OF THIS WITH MY NAME AND RESPECT
FULLY INTACT AFTER 30 YEARS. I MAY HAVE TO VENTURE DEEP WITHIN
MY OWN SOUL TO FIGURE OUT, WHO I REALLY AM. I MIGHT BECOME A
SQUARE AND WRITER BOOKS ABOUT A MYTHOLOGICAL CHARACTER
CALLED “MADD RONALD.” I MAY DECIDE TO STOP LIVING FOR MYSELF
AND SEEK A SOUL MATE FOR MARRIAGE. SO THAT THEN I MAY HAVE
SOMEONE ELSE TO LIVE FOR. I MIGHT WALK RIGHT OFF OF THE FACE
OF THE EARTH. THAT’S NOT THAT HARD IN L.A. I MAY BE FOUND LIVING
IN A CARDBOARD CONDO, ON A DOWNTOWN (SKID ROW) SIDEWALK OR
HOLLYWOOD OR MAC ARTHUR PARK (IN L.A.). THE WORLD WOULD HAVE
TO STEP OVER ME TO PASS. NO ONE WOULD EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS
O/G/B MADD RONALD FROM THE 20′S. THEY WON’T KNOW THAT I GOT
MY BLOOD ON FOR 22 CONSECUTIVE YEARS WITH NO KUT. THEY
WOULD NEVER REALIZE THAT I AM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED
ROLLIN’ 20′S BLOODS. THAT MEANS THAT NO ONE WOULD BE
INTERESTED IN WHY I HAVE A RED CARD BOARD BOX TO LIVE IN. THEY
WON’T REALIZE EVEN THOUGH I AM NOT INSIDE OF THE HOOD THE HOOD
IS STILL INSIDE OF ME.I WILL HAVE NO MATERIAL POSSESSIONS. I WILL
HAVE NO MONETARY NEEDS. I WON’T EVEN HAVE A DOLLAR IN MY
POCKET. I MAY BE WEARING ALL OF THE CLOTHING THAT I OWN IN THIS
WORLD, BUT I WOULD STILL BE HAPPY. I WOULD BE HAPPY BECAUSE
AFTER 30 YEARS ON THE SETT, I MADE IT OUT WITH MY LIFE. I HAVE
WITNESSED THE FINALITY OF DEATH WILL IT BE MY FATE TO BE
WITNESSED AS ANOTHER FATALITY OF L.A.’S MEAN WAYS? L.A. HAS GOT
TO BE THE HOME OF ONE OF THE BLOODIEST WARS TO EVER TAKE
PLACE IN NORTH AMERICA.

MALCOLM X WOULD ROLL OVER IN HIS GRAVE, IF HE COULD SEE THE
CONDITIONS OF GENOCIDE THAT WE (OURSELVES) HAVE INFLICTED
UPON OUR PEOPLE. I SAW MORE THAN 700 ROLLIN’ 20′S
NEIGHBORHOOD BLOODS PAY THEIR LAST RESPECTS TO OUR “B”LOVED
ISEMAN, LAST WEEK. I WAS AMAZED TO SEE THE 20′S IN SUCH MASSIVE
NUMBERS. SOME ARE SAYING, THERE WAS 1,000 OF US. I HOPE THE DAY
THAT I DIE, THAT THE ROLLIN’ 20′S LOVE ME AS MUCH AS THEY LOVE
ISEMAN. I DIED AT HIS VIEWING, WHEN I SAW MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND
LAYING THERE LIFELESS AND INANIMATE. I DIED AGAIN WHEN I TOUCHED
HIS COLD HAND AND DID NOT FEEL HIS WARM PULSE. THAT DIDN’T FEEL
LIKE THE HAND THAT HAD SHAKEN MY HAND SO MANY TIMES WHEN WE
WERE GROWING UP.

THE REALEST THING IN LIFE IS DEATH. WE ALL HAVE GOT TO DIE. I
EMBRACE DEATH INTO MY LIFE EVERYDAY. LIFE IS HARD AND IT IS
GETTING HARDER. I AM VERY AWARE THAT THERE IS NO ONE THAT IS
PROBLEM-FREE. I ENDURE THE STRESS OF LIFE EVERYDAY. NOT ONLY
FOR MYSELF BUT ALSO FOR MANY OTHERS THAT CAN’T ENDURE THE
STRESS. IMAGINE YOUR EVERYDAY STRESS OF JUST TRYING TO GET BY
FROM DAY TO DAY COMBINED WITH MY STRESS OF TRYING NOT TO GET
KILLED. THAT IS WHAT I GO THROUGH EVERYDAY. I DIED WITH MY
HOMEGIRL HEEBOE FROM ROLLIN’ 20′S BLOODS, WHEN THEY KILLED
HER 4 TIMES WITH AN AK47 AT THE BEEHIVE. SHE MUST SERVE A
SUPREME PURPOSE TO GOD, BECAUSE HE SENT HER BACK TO US TO
FINISH SERVING HER PURPOSE. SHE WAS GRANTED HER 2ND LIFE. I
DON’T HAVE ANYMORE FEELINGS, SO I CAN NO LONGER BE SAD. THE
MENTION OF THE WORD DEATH MAKES MY HEAD SPIN SO BAD THAT I
FEEL LIKE, I WANT TO FALL DOWN, BUT I AM SCARED TO FALL BECAUSE,
I MAY NOT BE GETTING BACK UP. I AM ALL CRIED OUT, SO I HAVE NO
MORE TEARS. I CAN NO LONGER MOURN FOR ALL THOSE THAT I HAVE
LOSS. I MUST CELEBRATE THE MEMORIES OF THEIR LIVES. I WILL NOT
BE SELFISH. IT WAS A BLESSING TO KNOW YOU ALL. IT WAS A GIFT TO
HAVE THE OPPURTUNITY TO SHARE YOUR MOMENTS IN TIME. WHEN I
WAS A KID MY FATHER WOULD COSTANTLY LACE ME WITH GAME IN
MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. THEY SAY THAT, ” THE GAME IS TO BE SOLD,
NOT TOLD.” SO I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A PINCH OF WHAT I WAS TOLD,”
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF MEN IN THIS WORLD. THOSE THAT ACT BAD
AND THOSE THAT ARE BAD ACTORS. “B” SAFE.

The Last Victim of Gang Violence by Ronald Chatman

Tuesday, November 11th, 2014

4/15/03

Am I immortal or am I just fooling myself? Will I be remembered like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King or Ghandi?
What makes history a fact, is that someone took the time to write it. Will I be a character remembered in
time? Will there even be a human race in 1,000 years? The only reason that we cannot start all over
shaped time? If civilization does exist in 1,000 years will there be Bloods and Crips?

From the corner of Normandie Avenue and Adams Boulevard, my philosophical point of view stands
bullet riddled and blood stained. Scanning Loren Miller Park with my eyes, my free will is clouded by
marijuana smoke from the blunt that a Blood just passed. From 27th Street to the Avenues I
philosophize with the transients and the addicted. The most educated among us sometimes stand
among the derelicts of society (those that have been ousted by society). Curbside University is now
opened. Discussions range from “The Philosophy of Life” to the “Philosophy of How to Survive a
Drive-by shooting.” What you are reading becomes so prolific that, today you are reading from the
pages of my life, next month you could be reading from the pages of my obituary. Sometimes it’s crazy to
think of being allotted such a fucked up slot in the social order of life. I’ve never really left Los Angeles
(unless I was shackled down on a state prison bus with an armed gunman riding in the back cage). It is
as if I am still in prison, like L.A. has this big ass electrical prison fence around it. I have not even done
very much and the intellect that I am capturing your imagination with comes from all of the books that I
have read.

You must understand that I am stuck in life. You can lock up the body but never the mind. My fate will be
to die in the streets of Los Angeles. At 35 years old I will never find a way out; I am under the BLOOD
FOR LIFE plan anyway (my fate is sealed). The only choice left for me is, who do I want to die as? Do I
want to be sacrificed to the L.A. gang crisis? or do I want to die as a martyr to the peace movement?
After my death, will I be considered a prophet? will I be considered a philosopher? Will I even be
considered? Out of sight is out of mind. At night I toss and turn fighting for the few hours of sleep that I
am allowed. I have nightmares of drive-by shootings and execution style murders. I am always taken
away from the scene in the back of a paramedic ambulance hooked up to I.V.s and life support. I awaken
drenched in sweat and out of breath. I am choking on my own spit and my heart is beating overtime.
Suddenly I realize the only reason that I have just been allowed to live is because I have just been
allowed to die.

This is an actual illness comparable to the post Vietnam syndrome that veterans suffer from. Does God
grant me these flashbacks as a reminder of all of the pain that I have caused? Why does God allow us to
slaughter one another as if the Los Angeles gang crisis was written into Armagedon or the Jihad. Only
God will determine when it will be time for me to be “carried and buried,” so I must prepare to die with
the pride that the Bloods had in Vietnam (during the 1960′s). Religion of the streets (gangbangin’) is in
full effect. The streets “B” my church and my red flag “B” my cross. We believe in this enough to die for
but do we believe in this enough to live for it? Should I be murdered by an enemy’s bullet, let genocide
die with me. While standing on 27th Street, if I am the victim of a barrage of machine gun fire let
ignorance die with me. If I am shot in the head while standing on Adams Boulevard let prejudice die with
me. So that the future (our children) can start all over again. Some of us will have to sacrifice our own
lives to save the lives of our children, the future is in there hands.

Some of us will have to be martyrs for the liberation of our children’s futures. Some of us will have to
give up all that we love, so that those that we love, can live. For the sake of my two daughters (Ronisha
and Tierra) and my one son (Ronald#2), I will be the first sacrifice. Who’s next to step up to the firing
squad for the sake of humanity? This will not be another Machiavellian smoke screen. I will not be
resurrected in seven days. My death is final and to the utmost, definite, but now my life will be infinite
and I won’t be coming back. In one week, when my body is buried and all of my friends and family have
come to pay there last respects. All of the Rollin’20′s Bloods will be prepared to seek revenge for the
death of me. There will be a sea of soldiers dressed in red, as they pass my coffin to view my body,
there will be two fingered salutes with acknowledgements of a pinky and a thumb from those saluted.
When I am lowered in to the ground and covered with dirt, let the hatred of the world be buried with me.
I don’t know about Dr. King’s dream but I know that I am living a nightmare.

Will the world know about the more than 500 people that were murdered in the streets of Los Angeles in
2002? In 1,000 years, will the world remember all of the innocent people that were victims of gang
violence? May the conflict end with my death. History will reveal that Madd Ronald was the last victim of
gang violence. Remember me the way that you would remember a Palestinian suicide bomber seeking
liberation from the conditions of oppression so that his children may have a chance in the future. These
words may sound like the lyrics of a rap song, but they are not and I am no rapper but an urban
survivalist and these are my lyrics of life. The cloth that holds my family together is red and it is stained
with the blood of my dead homies.

The tattoo of Rollin’ 20′s that is blocked up on my leg may be the only proof to a young archeologist in
1,000 years that the Rollin’ Twenties Neighborhood Bloods ever existed, while he studies the ruins of a
lost city called Los Angeles. Will the translation of the “2″ on my left back arm and the “0″ on my right
back arm, be kept in a museum and studied like hieroglyphics, when they realize that nations of black
and brown once existed in this now desolate graffitti filled wasteland? The only thing to remain will be
the knowledge, the nowledge of self destruction, knowledge of genocide, and the study of xenophobia.
Willie Lynch will be dead and we will no longer be slaves.

The same people that taught us virtue are the same ones that enslaved us. In this day and age, slavery
exists in the Sudan the same as it did in the deep South. In the Ivory Coast, there has been a civil war
for the past 4 months. An American protester was killed by an Israeli bulldozer a few weeks ago. She was
on a peace mission for humanity, trying to stop a Palestinian home from being torn down. I don’t know if
it is worse here in the hood where the war has been going on for the past 3 decades, or over in Iraq.

I ain’t down with Bush, I ain’t fightin’ for Bush, and I ain’t dyin’ for Bush. Like I may have expressed
before “Fuck the War,” We must support our family members who are involved in the military. I believe
that there should be some Bush’s and Cheney’s right out there dying on the front line like the true
Americans that they are. My 12 year old son (Ronald#2) might be drafted when he turns 18. For him it’s
either the Prison Industrial Complex or the Military Industrial Complex, all because Saddam Hussein did
not submit the right weapons report 6 years earlier. North Korea talks like they got the bomb and they
don’t give a fuck who knows. They fired a missile into the Sea of Japan a few weeks ago. They claim they
have a nuclear missile that can reach Los Angeles. I think that if we are going to war with anybody to
disarm weapons of mass destruction it needs to be North Korea. How can George W. Bush think about
disarming Iraq when he can’t even disarm the gang members in the hood. If we’re lucky North Korea will
push the button and civilization along with prejudice, hatred, genocide, and ignorance will all die at the
end of this sentence.

“My Side of the Racial Divide” By Ronald Chatman 6-7-05

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011

I GREW UP IN LOS ANGELES IN THE 1970’s AND 80’s. IN THOSE DAYS RELATIONS
BETWEEN THE BLACK AND MEXICAN RACE WAS A VERY COPESTETIC SITUATION IN L.A.
WHEN THERE WAS NO RACIAL TENSION. AS A 4th GRADE STUDENT AT 24THSTREET
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, I WAS ONCE ASSIGNED TO TEACH THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO A
MEXICAN STUDENT, WHO HAD JUST MOVED TO L.A., FROM MEXICO. IN THE 70’s THE
POPULATION OF BLACK PEOPLE IN LOS ANGELES WAS MUCH GREATER.

CALIFORNIA USE TO BE A PART OF MEXICO AT ONE TIME IN HISTORY UNTIL until the
treaty of guadalupe hildago after the Mexican-American War that ended in 1848, SO
NATURALLY THE MEXICAN POPULATION IS GOING TO BE GREATER IN L.A. THAN OTHER
RACES. AS A CHILD I ALWAYS HAD FRIENDS OF MEXICAN DESCENT AND WE ALL GOT
ALONG AS WE STILL DO TO THIS VERY DAY.

NEIGHBORHOOD ROLLIN 20’s AND WESTSIDE HARPYS ARE 2 GANGS OF DIFFERENT
RACES THAT HAVE BEEN COVERING A LOT OF THE SAME GROUND FOR YEARS. THERE
HAS ALWAYS BEEN A COPESTETIC RAPPORT BETWEEN US AND THE HARPYS TO THIS
VERY DAY DESPITE THE FEW CONFLICTS THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE IN THE PAST.

THE 20’s HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ATMOSPHERE WHERE THE BLACK AND MEXICAN GANGS
FROM THAT AREA OFTEN SHARE COMMON ENEMIES SUCH AS 18thSTREET AND OTHER
VARIOUS RIVALS. EVEN THE SMALLER HISPANIC GANGS IN THE 20’s THAT ARE RIVALS
TO THE HARPYS AND MAY EXIST WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE WESTSIDE ROLLIN 20’
s LIKE THE DRIFTERS AND THE (NOW DEFUNCT) WESTSIDE ALCAPONES GANG HAVE
ALWAYS ALLIED THEMSELVES WITH N/H/B 20’s AGAINST WHOEVER OUR COMMON
ENEMIESWERE.

I WENT TO PRISON FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 1987 IT WAS THERE I HAD LEARNED OF THE
RACE RELATIONS AND PRISON POLITICS OF THE SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MEXICAN
GANG MEMBERS. I WAS SURPRISED TO REALIZE THE HISPANIC GANG FROM LOS
ANGELES AND THE REST OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (SURENOS 13), WERE ALLIED WITH
THE WHITE SUPREMACIST PRISON GANGS AND WERE SWORN POLITICAL ENEMIES TO
THE BLACK INMATES. THE NORTHERN CALIFORNIA MEXICAN GANG MEMBERS
(NORTENOS 14), ARE ALLIED WITH THE BLACK INMATES THROUGHOUT CALIFORNIAS
PRISON SYSTEM AND NORTENOS AND SURENOS ARE SWORN ENEMIES. I CAN
REMEMBER BEING CAUGHT UP IN A RACE RIOT INSIDE OF LOS ANGELES COUNTY JAIL. I
HAD JUST ENTERED ONE OF THE MAINLINE MODULES WHERE I WAS TO BE HOUSED
WITH AB OUT 15 OTHER INMATES OF VARIOUS RACES.

WHEN THE GATES HAD OPENED TO LET US INTO OUR CELLS THE RACIAL TENSION
EXPLODED RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES BETWEEN BLACK AND MEXICAN INMATES FROM
EVERY CELL. WHEN RACE RIOTS TAKE PLACE, IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU ARE
INVOLVED OR NOT THE COLOR OF SKIN BECOMES THE MAIN ISSUE. I HAVE BEEN
INCARCERATED IN ANOTHER PART OF THE L.A. COUNTY JAIL SYSTEM AT WAYSIDE
MAXIMUM.

THIS WAS A MAXIMUM SECURITY COUNTY INSTITUTION WHERE RACE RIOTS FROM
DORM TO DORM TOOK PLACE ON A DAILY BASIS. IT IS OFTEN VOLATILE TO MIX BLACK
AND HISPANIC INMATES WITH THE SOCIAL INGREDIENTS OF POLITICS AND RESPECT
THERE IS BOUND TO BE A RACIAL EXPLOSION.

MY SETT NEIGHBORHOOD ROLLIN 20’s BLOODS AND THE BLACK-P-STONE BLOODS ARE
AT WAR WITH 18thSTREET (THE BIGGEST HISPANIC GANG IN ALL OF LOS ANGELES
COUNTY), MID CITY 13, AND A.T.C. 13 ARE ALSO MEXICAN GANGS THAT ARE SWORN
ENEMIES TO NEIGHBORHOOD ROLLIN 20’s. THERE IS A WAR TAKING PLACE IN THE
STREETS OF LOS ANGELES BETWEEN VARIOUS BLACK AND MEXICAN GANGS, NOW IT IS
OVERFLOWING TO THE CREATION OF A MAJOR RACE ISSUE.

IN SOME INSTANCES BLOODS AND CRIPS HAVE TO SET ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES IN
ORDER TO DEAL WITH THE CURRENT CONFLICTS OF RACE RELATIONS. I NOW HAVE A
SON AND A DAUGHTER WHO BOTH ATTEND HIGH SCHOOL IN LOS ANGELES COUNTY. MY
SON AND MY DAUGHTER HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT RACE RIOTS BETWEEN BLACK AND
MEXICAN STUDENTS, TAKING PLACE AT THEIR SCHOOLS.

LUNCH TIME IN THE LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOLS HAS BECOME SOMETHING YOU CAN
COMPARE TO YARD RELEASE IN THE STATE PRISONS SYSTEM. I HAVE BEEN READING IN
THE NEWS ABOUT VARIOUS HIGH SCHOOLS IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA EXPLODING INTO
RACIAL VIOLENCE BETWEEN BLACK AND HISPANIC STUDENTS. I ATTENDED JEFFERSON
HIGH SCHOOL IN LOS ANGELES BACK IN THE 80’s. I READ ABOUT A SEVERE RACE RIOT
TAKING PLACE THERE A FEW MONTHS AGO.

IN MY HIGH SCHOOL DAYS THE CRUCIAL COLORS OF CONFLICT WERE RED AND BLUE
NOW THEY HAVE CHANGED TO BLACK AND BROWN. CINCO DE MAYO (MAY 5, 2005) WAS
SUPPOSED TO BE A BIG DAY OF RACIAL CONFLICT IN THE STREETS AND IN THE
SCHOOLS OF LOS ANGELES. ALL IN ALL RACIAL TOLERANCE AND INTERGRATION HAS
BECOME RACIAL HATRED AND DISINTERGRATION.

MY FATHER TAUGHT ME NOT TO BE PREJUDICE, AS I TEACH MY KIDS. HE ALSO TOLD
ME TO ONLY DISLIKE THOSE WHO DON’T LIKE ME. AS YOU CAN SEE THERE IS A LONG
CHAIN OF RACIAL HATRED IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BETWEEN 2 OF THE MOST
IMPOVERISHED MINORITY RACES. THE CYCLE OF HATE IS RAPIDLY REGENERATING
INTO THE LIVES OF OUR CHILDREN.

OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT BORN TO HATE EACH OTHER BECAUSE OF RACE. HATRED IS
TAUGHT TO THEM AT HOME FIRST BY THEIR PARENTS. WE ARE 2 BEAUTIFUL RACES OF
PEOPLE BOTH BLACK AND BROWN, BUT UNTIL WE ALL ACHIEVE TOLERANCE AND
UNDERSTANDING OF ONE ANOTHER, I TAKE A MILITANT STANCE AS A BLACK MAN ON
MY SIDE OF THE RACIAL DIVIDE.

“Guns Don’t Kill” By Ronald Chatman 11-30-04

Wednesday, April 20th, 2011
THE MOST POWERFUL AND MOST DESTRUCTIVE TOOL EVER CREATED WAS THE GUN.
THE GUN HAS CHANGED THE COURSE OF HISTORY MORE TIMES THAN ANYONE COULD
EVER IMAGINE. FROM WORLD LEADERS TO THE WORLDS RELIGIOUS FIGURES TO THE
INNOCENT BYSTANDERS IN THE STREET, THE GUN HAS HAD MORE IMPACT ON
MANKINDS WAY OF LIFE THAN ANY OTHER WEAPON EVER CREATED BY MAN. THE MOST
POWERFUL WEAPON OF ALL IS KNOWLEDGE. IT TOOK THE KNOWLEDGE OF
TECHNOLOGY FOR THE MODERN DAY WEAPONS OF TODAY TO BE CONSTRUCTED. IT
TOOK THE KNOWLEDGE OF TECHNOLOGY TO CONSTRUCT THE WEAPONS OF MASS
DESTRUCTION THAT THE UNITED STATES INVADED AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ WITH. IN
SOME CASES THE GUN IS A SELFLESS TOOL USED FOR THE PROTECTION OF SELF AND
PROPERTY. IN OTHER CASES THE GUN IS A SELFISH WEAPON THAT IS USED TO
PROCURE THE PROPERTY OF OTHERS BY MEANS OF FORCE AND VIOLENCE AND TO
TAKE INNOCENT LIFE FROM THOSE THAT ARE UNSUSPECTING.

IT WILL BE THE WEAPON OF KNOWLEDGE THAT WILL UNITE OUR PEOPLE AND BRING
ABOUT PEACE AMONG ALL OF US, WHO HAVE BEEN DOOMED TO DIE IN THE STREETS
OF THE GHETTOS, BY WAY OF THE GUN.

I AM THE GUN IN THE HANDS OF THE YOUNG GANG MEMBER, THAT JUST MURDERED 2
ENEMIES, AND THE 1 INNOCENT VICTIM, THAT WAS ON THE WAY HOME FROM WORK
WITH A BAG OF GROCERIES. THE INTENT OF THE FLYING BULLETS WOULD NOT HAVE
SEEMED SO WRONG HAD THE RIGHT PEOPLE GOTTEN SHOT, BUT THE MOST FATAL OF
MY VICTIMS MEANT ME NO HARM HIS ONLY INTENT WAS TO GET HOME TO FEED HIS
FAMILY.

I WAS BROUGHT INTO THE CITY BY A WHITE MAN WITH A BADGE ON HIS CHEST, DRIVING
A BLACK AND WHITE CAR, WITH A SLOGAN ON THE SIDE THAT SAYS, “TO SERVE AND
PROTECT” HE GUNNED DOWN A BLACK TEENAGER AND QUICKLY THREW ME AWAY, I
WAS FOUND BY A LATINO VATO IN A TRASH CAN THE VERY NEXT DAY. HE ROBBED 2
STORES AND KILLED 3 ENEMIES OF OTHER RACES, THEN WAS MURDERED IN A
SHOOTOUT, SHOT TWICE IN THE FACE.

THE KILLER TOOK ME AND RESOLD ME IN THE STREET, IT DON’T MATTER HOW MANY
MURDERS ARE ON ME AS LONG AS YOU CAN BUY YOU SOME HEAT. NOW YOU’VE GOT
THE POWER OF GOD IN YOUR HANDS AND YOU CHOOSE WHO LIVES OR DIES, YOU AIN’T
GONNA PUNK OUT NO MORE, JUST WAIT TILL THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKER TRIES. I DON’T
GIVE A FUCK IF HE IS A BLOOD OR A CRIP, I’M GONNA SHOOT HIM IN THE MOUTH, AND
WATCH THE BLOOD TRICKLE DOWN, THEN GO TO PRISON AND DO LIFE FOR MURDER,
NO DOUBT.

JOHN MOSES BROWNING, SAMUEL COLT, YOU HAVE MADE SUCH POWERFUL
MACHINERY THE MINORITY YOUTH IS DYING WITH NO HOPE.

I WAS UNLOADED IN A DRIVE BY, THROWN AWAY AGAIN IN A POLICE CHASE, FOUND BY
A 12 YEAR OLD KID IN THE STREET, WHO LATER SHOT ONE OF HIS CLASSMATES.

OH, YEA I’VE BEEN AROUND, BUT MY BULLETS GO MUCH FARTHER, TO THOSE
ORPHANED BY GANG RELATED CRIME, I TOOK YOUR MOTHER S AND FATHERS.

I WAS 2PACS GIRLFRIEND, I WAS SCARFACES LITTLE FRIEND, BUT I WON’T STOP KILLIN’
MOTHERFUCKERS UNTIL THE LIFE OF ALL THAT IS LIVING IS BROUGHT TO AN END.
LOAD ME UP WITH 75 ROUNDS THE ASSAULT WEAPONS BAN HAS EXPIRED, GENOCIDE
WILL NEVER END AND THE KILLERS WILL NEVER GET TIRED.

KIRISHNAKOV MADE ME AUTOMATIC IN 1947, WAS HE MURDERED? WAS HE SHOT? AND
THE REAL QUESTION IS DID HE GET INTO HEAVEN?

GOD MADE MAN AND SMITH AND WESSON MADE US ALL EQUAL, DRIVE BY SHOOTINGS
WOULD NOT BE SO BAD IF THEY STOPPED SHOOTING THE WRONG PEOPLE.

WHO AM I TO SAY WHO LIVES AND DIES? ALL I KNOW IS, I AM LIVING TO DIE, LIFE GETS
SO HARD FOR ME SOMETIMES, I WANT TO BREAK DOWN AND CRY.

I HAVE BEEN SOLD TO BLOODS IN L.A., SHOT BY CRIPS IN COMPTON, AS LONG AS I AM
AROUND AIN’T NO PROBLEMS, I KNOW HOW TO GET THINGS POPPIN’.

MADD RONALD FROM THE 20’S CALLS ME, “ROSCOE” HIS HOMIES SAY, “YAYA OR
HEAT” IT DON’T MATTER WHAT MY NAME IS, I STAY BUSY KNOCKIN FOOLS OFF THEIR
FEET. I TOOK MALCOLM, MARTIN, AND MEDGAR A WHITE MAN AIN’T USED ME SINCE
THAT TIME, BUT IT AIN’T NO BIG THANG TO ME NIGGERS ARE KILLIN EACH OTHER AND
WHEN THEY GET WEAK THEY DROP A DIME. NOW THERE IS A NEW PLAN, WHITE MAN AIN’
T GOTTA DO NO WORK, JUST KEEP SHIPPIN’ THOSE GUNS INTO THE GHETTOS, WILLIE
LYNCHS SELF HATRED ALREADY HIT US WHERE IT HURTS.

I TOOK 2PAC, I TOOK BIGGIE, I PUT IN WORK ON JAM MASTER JAY,GUN VIOLENCE IS ON
THE RISE IT AIN’T NO SURPRISE, I AIN’T NO TOY AND I DIDN’T COME TO PLAY.

THEY RAPP ABOUT ME IN THEIR SONGS, HOW YOU AIN’T GONNA LIVE LONG AND HOW
THESE RAPPERS BUST CAPS EVERYDAY, BUT IF THEY REALLY DID THEY’D BE DEAD OR
IN JAIL, SO DON’T BELIEVE A WORD OF WHAT THEY SAY.

ARNOLD TERMINATED THE WORLD WITH ME TIGHTLY IN HIS GRIPAND IF YOU KNOW THE
MOVIE, HE NEVER RELOADED THE CLIP. WHEN IT WAS ALL OVER EVERYBODY WAS
DEAD, THE TERMINATOR IS THE GOVERNOR OF CALIFORNIA, THERE’S NOT A WORD TO
BE SAID. NOW DON’T THAT SOUND KRAZY, THE TERMINATOR IS THE GOVERNOR OF THE
STATE WITH THE HIGHEST MURDER RATE. DEATH TO YOU ALL UNTIL MY
APPREHENSION, I AM THE PISTOL IN YOUR WAISTBAND THE ONE YOU FORGOT TO
MENTION. I AM THE TEK 9 ON YOUR PASSENGER SEAT, THE 380 IN YOUR POCKET,
WHEN I BARK OUT LOUD THEY WOULD SWEAR YOU LAUNCHED A ROCKET.

MOTHERFUCKERS BETTER DUCK WHEN I BLAST THEY TAKE COVER, THE FLASH FROM
THE MUZZLE, THE SMELL OF GUNPOWDER YOU KNOW THEY JUST KILLED ANOTHER
BROTHER.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT, I AM ONLY A TOOL, GUNS DON’T KILL, STUPID ASS PEOPLE WITH
GUNS DO.

A MOMENT OF PHILOSOPHY: THERE ARE ONLY 2 TIMES IN LIFE THAT WE ARE TRULY
FREE, WHEN WE ARE SLEEP AND WHEN WE ARE TRAVELING.

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